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Wednesday 23 January 2019


Ever made a new year's resolution you know you just can't keep? Or given up a little luxury for lent only to break three (long) days in? This one's for you.

Did I miss a memo? Because somewhere down the line, our bad habits seem to have become a map for mandatory self-improvement. And the real kicker? They've been cleverly disguised as quirks we actively want to change. I'm all up for bettering yourself, but spoiler alert: perfection is overrated. My bad bits are just as important to who I am than their more ~acceptable~ counterparts. You know what they say, if you can't beat 'em join' em – so here are the bad habits that I'll probably (read: almost definitely) never overcome.

Let's start with my (more than) lazy beauty routine. You know it's a good day if I remember to wash the foundation off the back of my hand. And if I think to remove my makeup before I go to sleep? That's a 10/10 day, right there. I'm trying to up my skincare game but who can be bothered to rub cloths, creams, and cleansers over your face when you could get an extra 10 minutes of kip instead? Not this gal. And does anyone know how often you should wash your makeup brushes? Because I certainly don't. Once a month seems good enough for me. To uncover my biggest makeup faux pas, you need only glance down at my work keyboard – orange isn't a strong enough word. Everyone must think I cake my face in layer upon layer but, truthfully, my everyday look is pretty low-key. Instead, my dirty little secret is the product of oily skin and an inordinate tendency to lean on my face. Oops.

The next item on my list is something that I'm fairly sure will be on yours, too. Surprise surprise, I spend ~far~ too much time with my eyes glued to my phone. And I've got to say, that bloody screen time app is my worst nightmare. Thanks for guilt-tripping me via the medium I need to get away from, PHONE (I love you really, please never leave me). In all seriousness, I'm fully aware that staring into a luminous screen for an unholy number of hours is beneficial to neither my physical nor mental health. And it ~is~ something that I plan to work on, but on my own terms, by my own standards, and at my own pace – not someone else's.

Annoying other people seems to be my forte, which is what makes my next vice all the more suitable: I correct others' grammar on a daily basis. Okay, I'll hold my hands up and say it's yet another trait that I should probably back away from... but it's one that I just can't seem to quit. Said your when you meant you're? Used effect when it should have been affect? Firmly believe that roundel has an 'a' in it? I will find you. And I will correct you. It comes with the job, after all.

And last, but certainly not least, is my diet. Shocker. After five years of shovelling breakfast down my throat every morning, I seem to have fallen back into my childhood habit of lunch being my first meal of the day. But that's not so bad, is it? My devotion to snacking, on the other hand, is slightly more problematic. There'll always be a chocolate bar (or two) tucked away in my desk drawer and I frequently find myself taking a leisurely stroll down ALDI's special buys aisle. That counts towards my daily exercise quota though, right? Whenever my stomach starts growling, my hands ~should~ dart towards my water bottle as a first port of call. But where do they find themselves? Stuck in the cookie jar, again (and again and again).

If making resolutions is yo' thing, you do you gurl. But you shouldn't feel pressured to apologise for the flaws that simply make you less than perfect. To quote The Greatest Showman (yes, that’s two mentions in two blog posts) – I make no apologies, this is me. And I'm going to own ‘me’, bad habits and all.

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