Search This Blog

Thursday 29 March 2018


What I’m about to say (or, rather, type) isn’t out of sadness or despair. Please don't read this this the wrong way – I am genuinely happy with my life right now, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have doubts from time to time. Get ready for a classic Kassi ramble, straight from the heart. 

When I hear people talk about how they feel ‘lost’ in their twenties, I never quite believe them. It may be naive of me to admit, but I’ve always assumed that it’s one of those things people in our generation say but don’t really mean. Y'know, to ‘fit in’ with our unhealthy love of complaining and romanticising the hardships of life. 

Over the last few months, however, my heart has been aching for a place to belong. A place to call home. A place where I don’t feel totally and completely lost. And I'm not talking about a physical place, but rather a sort of 'peace' within my being... I’ve come to realise that it’s not a simple slip of the tongue  feeling lost is an all-too-real, valid emotion that I just can’t seem to shake. 

But that’s normal, right? To be confused and not know where your life is headed when you’re only 23? I’m not supposed to have it all figured out  that’s what my twenties are for. But then why do I feel so helpless?

Growing up in Nottingham, that was the place that I called home for almost 19 happy years. My university town Manchester, however, taught me who I am. Moving away from a place that had embedded itself so deeply within my heart was honestly one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. And it’s so strange because I feel homesick for it in a way that I never have for my childhood home. In present day, I’m living neither in the Midlands nor the North. Instead, my feet are firmly placed in the South of England alongside Jack’s loving family. And, honestly? I’m extremely happy here. But do I belong here? Do I belong back in Manchester? Do I belong back in Nottingham? Do I belong in any one of those three places? Do I need to ‘belong’ anywhere at all? Does the feeling of ‘being lost’ ever really go away or do we all just stumble through life, figuring it out as we go along?

Is there anyone reading this that currently feels a similar way? Or perhaps you’ve faced these musings in the past? Let me know your experiences with feeling lost and the concept of ‘belonging’ in the comments below.

No comments:

Post a Comment